The insanity begins.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
"Nothing can they alter; there's nothing to decide. No escape - no change of heart - no place to hide. You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied. Sometimes in my darkest thoughts I wish I'd never learned what it is to be in love and have that love returned."----------------------------------------------
Random quote of the day:
"It's like coming home and finally having someone there waiting for you, you know?"
~Naruto, from [Welcome Home] on fanfiction.net
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Read [Welcome home], today.
All about trust between friends, lovers.
About trust between the 2 orphans, Sasuke and Naruto.
About what they went through to get where they are today.
About how they cared, even when everything and everybody else came between them,
To stop them.
Even when they didn't understand their feelings,
They cared.
With their heart.
A very good read, even if you don't like BL.
Coz the author's really amazing in writing.
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Mood of the day:
Contemplative.
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Feelings of the day:
I realised that although i really enjoy my alone time,I really miss the times i would banter and bicker with Dino.I miss her a lot,And i've never been able to talk to her much after we'd gone our separate ways.She's always with her BF,Or just simply, busy.I miss waking up in the morning and looking forward to school too.I feel no attachment to PJC.I miss the class, its antics and the teachers.And the non-teaching staff too.I miss waking up in the morning,Knowing that today is another day which i can spend with you in school.I miss going to school super early,So that i can spend some time alone with you.I miss the breakfast times,And the once in a while dinners.I even miss doing homework for you.I mean it.I miss every single thing about you,Yet, i can't say what i miss about you most.Why do you keep asking me what attracts me to you?I really don't know...I've asked myself that many a times,But i've never ever gotten an answer.I once thought I had a chance.You gave me so much hope.The things you did for me,I thought that it was special.It is, to some extent.You said so at least.Why is it that you'd fall in love with everyone around me,And not with me?Why?Is it so hard?Or have you seen what I'm really like.Do you hate the real me?You asked to see it.I showed it to you.Do you dislike it?This true personality of mine?Clingy, paranoid, selfish?Do you dislike these things about me?I still want to know all about you,Even when you're so far away.Even when it's not my business to know.I still worry about you,Especially when i heard you fought.I still wish,Even though its clear we could only be friends.Why?Is there anything i can do to get you to notice me as something more then a friend?Wait.Don't answer.I already know.You'd say no right?You once told me that you liked girls with long hair, sweet and not overweight.I tried to be the first, pretend to be the second...But the last one was out of reach.To me at least.Was that what which turned you off?I tried keeping my hair long several times last year.And the year before.But i couldn't stand it, and cut it off before it got too long.But i always kept it at shoulder length.This year i cut it,Thinking that if i cut it, I'd be able to forget about you.I mean, its just a memory,Can't be that hard, right?But i didn't feel any better you know.I felt that i was deviating from the perfect girl you liked.I was already far off course already,It felt as if i was going the opposite direction from where i've come.I try to make up for it,By nagging my mum to choose something other then T-shirt and shorts for me when i go out with you all.I wanted to catch your eye,But then again,I'm not that attractive in the first place.I really don't love dogs.I just tolerate them.But i thought FiFi was cute.Because you said so.I really love cats more,At least hugging and playing with them is never a problem for me,Not even when they're wet and muddy.Sighx...I don't hope to see you in my next life,Coz i don't want to fall in love with you and get hurt again.
fallenIN
love*with IVAN & WANG YAO @
7:07 AM
